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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

A missionaries worth...

A recent conversation:

P1: Do think you would consider coming back to live in the states?
Steph: No…not unless God showed us that that is where we are supposed to be.
P1: What if you can’t get back in…what if all this trouble is a sign that you’re not supposed to go back?
Steph: Then we would know because God would tell us…
P1: Oh what like a voice or something? (with a hint of sarcasm)
*Frustration sets in*
P1: I mean what have you guys been doing over there anyway? I just don’t know if you have been very effective…I mean I haven’t heard much about what’s going on…

*At this point I’m getting pretty frustrated and having to keep my flesh in line because this is the second time I’ve had this conversation in 2 days…our blog always states what has been gone on and what we do and I have talk to this person specifically many times about the different things going on in Thailand…

It’s one thing for people to ask what’s going on in Thailand because they are genuinely curious and what to know exactly what God is doing there versus asking because they want to make sure that their money is well spent…or convince us that we’re not effective so we should just pack up and retreat…are there thousand people crusades going on? NO…are there 100’s of people who have come to know the Lord that we know of? NO…*

I start to go through everything that comes to mind: Well, there has been over 200,000 tracts put directly into the hands of the Thai people and no telling how many houses have been knocked on…if there is an openness to pray for the sick/preach the gospel/reach out then it is taken. Typically the Jesus film is shown 2 times a week…Constant ministry to our Thai friends directly and through our lives. Pii Saow came to know the Lord through a new Thai believer she met specifically because of seeing our lives.

Pii C came to know the Lord because of a tract that Clinton and John put in his hand. There have been many healings administered directly through John and some indirectly when John taught at the bible school regarding healing and some of the students took the truth and ran with it resulting in a woman being healed of AIDS.

All the while that I’m going through this I feel my stomach churning…I decide not to continue, this person dropped the subject and we moved on…no problems. But yet my heart was pricked about how to measure the effectiveness of a missionary.

Do we wish we could return and say that 100’s or 1,000’s of Thai’s have been saved? WITH ALL OF OUR HEARTS…do you not think that that is what we live for? Is that not what we wake up for every morning in Thailand away from our families and the country we love? Is that not what we sold everything we had for??? We wake up seeking out what we can do to make a difference through every aspect of our lives that day…I, Stephanie, wonder if my husband will come home sometimes because of the Muslim villages that he goes to. We did not come over here for anything less than to change the country and to make an impact in the lives of Thai people for the sake of the gospel in service to our King.

But yet here we are returning to visit our family and friends and we can not report that the desires of our heart have come to fruition but what we can report is that we have served our King in Thailand and we have done all that we have known to do and we will continue on doing anything and everything that our God sets us to do.

We are working in an area that is soiled and overrun by idols and false gods. These people hardly know the name of Jesus much less want to face ridicule for shaming their family by rejecting their tradition/culture and religion…I’ve heard it said many times while I’m here that “it must just be so easy to win people for the Lord in Thailand” and maybe I thought that too before I left…while they are a spiritually hungry people they still do not knock down our doors to be saved people…we labor for their souls.

They are hesitant to the extent that one time while in the village – John told a group of people “Take my hand if you want to be healed…” There was an old man and 3 other men that needed healing. They asked “If your God does heal us then does that mean we have to follow Jesus?” John replied “when he does heal you and you see that our God is real wouldn’t you want to?”

They denied prayer because they did not want to follow Jesus – they even said they believed they would have been healed!!! This is what we face daily…a people that put their very value in saving face before their family and friends…and to believe in Jesus, throw out their idols, forsake their idol worshiping customs is one of the most shameful things they can do.

If our worth for the work we are doing is to be measured by how many souls or healings we have had in the past year and a half then; having only seen from our own personal influence 2 salvations (although through a drama that I wrote and our team performed over 20 people came up in a church to give themselves to the Lord), having prayed for 100’s but only seeing around 25-30 instant healings then we should be sent home.

If the worth of a missionary is determined by how many he can get converted or healed in a certain time frame then William Carey should have gone home after the first 2 years even though it took 7 before he saw any Indian convert. Besides, if we did spend years in Thailand that results in only 2 genuine real believers…are they not worth it???

But the truth is that our worth is measured by one question: did you walk with Jesus and actively seek out what could be done to reach the people of Thailand and take action on it? One thing that is true about what we have done over the past year and a half is that we have made the name of Jesus known throughout a land that otherwise would not have known.

We have ministered through drama, English outreaches, giving away food, personal relationships, passing out over 200,000 tracts, laying on of hands, children’s ministry, helping out in Baan Nam Khem making bricks to rebuild homes, praying for people in hospitals, and going out to the prostitutes.

The other time I had this conversation it was literally said: Well, we just want to know what good your doing if we’re going to be supporting you. (Basically “we just want to know if you are doing enough to earn our support)

My feelings on this are: Please do not support us unless God has laid us on your heart to do so. If people would give because God lead them to then they wouldn’t have to worry if we were “worth” their support because they could trust the fact that God knows and God lead them to give.

Please forgive me if this comes across brash because I do not mean it to. I just want to express my heart about something that has really affected me and made me really question what it means to be a missionary – and a missionaries “worth”.

I believe that it is perfectly fine to find out what the missionaries you are supporting are doing but I believe there is a line where you have to ask yourself “Did God put these people on my heart?” “Are these people going after God and His will to be accomplished where they are working?”

I’ve always considered the blog a place to express what’s going on in our lives…what God is doing…the struggles we face…the joys we experience…this is yet another struggle that we have had to push through. It’s a tough thing to be questioned in your service to God…but I believe it does nothing but make you stand stronger and make sure that you are doing all that God has set you to do.

We need to be able to give an account for our work in Thailand and be accountable to working everyday to win souls for Jesus…but I don’t think it is about huge numbers…although that is our goal…I believe it is about real decisions. I’d rather have 3 real disciples…seeking and living for the Lord than thousands of decisions for Christ that aren’t real.

Thank you to all of you who support us…please know I am happy to answer any questions about what we do and I try to keep the blog as updated and informative as possible but if you ever want to ask about something – please feel free. Thank you for reading!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen!

I count it a privilege and an honour to stand together with John and you in prayer and finances in this the greatest of all endevors ... the advancement of the Kingdom of God!

Every man is either a missionary, or a mission field ...

As Bro. Curry has said ... "Is what you're living for worth Jesus' dying for?"

As I pursue the things pertaining to the Kindom, the people who are most offened are the religious critics ... who aren't doing anything anyway ... and I think it's almost like their flesh has to say these things, to defend their inactivity, and cover their own self condemnation for refusing to obey the Lord, and give Him increase. After all, isn't that why we do any thing at all... because Jesus Christ deserves the reward of his sacrifice!!! Anything else is a man-centered religion, and denies the very Lord whom we serve.

Maybe David Hogan said it best when some folks came to him saying some of same things, "I know you would have done it better, but you weren't there."

I am in awe over John and you. Your determination, strength, grit, love for God's people, character, integrity, valor and virtue are just a few words that come to mind.

You and your family have been an inspiration to me and my family, and we are doing our best to labor in the field that we have before us. At this time we can't go over-seas, so we go over to the neighbors', or go over to the Home Depot, or where ever ... but like you, (and as should be the case for ALL Christians) we go.

How can saints sit idle as the masses go marching on to hell?

What ever Father lays before you, whether here in the states, or some other country, be blessed!

As for me, I am thankful to God to know you guys even a little, and my only regret is that I can't send you more money to support all that you are doing for the Kingdom.

In His Service,
Your brother in Christ
Dave K.

Anonymous said...

David K, couldn't have said it better myself. A veteran missionary(born on the missionfield to missionary parents, married to a local missionary and our whole family (7 children) are missionaries).

I agree wholeheartedly with David Hogan.

Steph, with all that you have experienced on the field and back on the home front - you have justly earned the missionary title. Wear it proudly - Well done.

Your fellow-laborer and friend,

Bec.

Anonymous said...

I think that every Christian should have to read what you just wrote. These are the demands for everyone who follows after Christ. It was Paris Reidhead who noted that the Lord Jesus Christ, was a failure if we judge His ministry by the standards of today; "He never succeeded in organizing a church or denomination. He wasn’t able to build a school. He didn’t succeed in getting a mission board established. He never had a book printed. He never was able to get any of the various criteria or instruments that we find and are so useful. And our Lord preached for three years, healed thousands of people, fed thousands of people, and yet when it was all over there were 120….500 to whom he could have revealed Himself after His resurrection."

Steph, you and John need to continue with what you are doing. We are not judged by the standards of this world but by the Word of God and our obedience to him. I am proud to call you my friends and we can ALL learn what a christian's worth is by following in the footsteps of our Lord, Jesus and that is exactly what your family is doing!

Galatians 2:20 I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Blessings to you always,
Crystal

Anonymous said...

My spirit is crushed that you are having to defend yourself!

The LORD Himself laid you on my heart from the very beginning! I know- that I know -that I know -you are doing His will.

I also know that account-ability goes both directions...God Himself told me so.

I once asked my church elders to pray and consider writing a letter of introduction to a well known bible college. My sin was promptly pointed out (no prayer). Then, one looked down and the other just walked away. When I asked God why the one looked down, He said, "he is looking at his unconfessed sin." Then He said, "the one who walked away refuses to look for unconfessed sin."

While accountability is not the norm in all relationships, Your blog has provided more than enough to prove your worth to the Kingdom!

Thank you for 'being there in spirit' and going back soon!

You are loved!

Anonymous said...

My spirit is crushed that you are having to defend yourself!

The LORD Himself laid you on my heart from the very beginning! I know- that I know -that I know -you are doing His will.

I also know that account-ability goes both directions...God Himself told me so.

I once asked my church elders to pray and consider writing a letter of introduction to a well known bible college. My sin was promptly pointed out (no prayer). Then, one looked down and the other just walked away. When I asked God why the one looked down, He said, "he is looking at his unconfessed sin." Then He said, "the one who walked away refuses to look for unconfessed sin."

While accountability is not the norm in all relationships, Your blog has provided more than enough to prove your worth to the Kingdom!

Thank you for 'being there in spirit' and going back soon!

You are loved!

John Lambert said...

I know the scenario you speak of. I am a missions pastor at our church and I am always asked about what our missionaries are doing specifically in regards to ministry. The answers people are looking for are "harvest numbers". They don't realize that there are still places in the earth where the soil has not even been plowed much less seed sown for a harvest. There is adjusting to daily life, forming relationships, learning a hard language (a full time job in itself), and countless other things that most people take for granted in the States. Keep up the good work you are doing there. God is your judge. Continue to be patient with those who don't understand what you are doing and be willing to educate them the way you did. Sometimes we just don't have a clue and that's why we need each other!