Validation, Malaysia, Prayer Requests...

It's been a while since I've written. While God is still the Lord of my life I found myself struggling with a few of the things I thought I was over. We're here in America...and I can honestly say my heart is here now...it's here...content in what God has planned and as much as I hate to add a "but" to that...I must say...

BUT I struggle with viewing ourselves as missionaries to America. I know that's how we returned...and no we're not through a mission board but we're on God's mission board...and the big man said go back to America...but yet as a dear Pastor friend gave us their support for us as missionaries in America I felt as though we weren't qualified or worth them giving into us. Our dear family church, Liberty Lighthouse gives to us faithfully every month and this last time when I went to deposit the check I felt unworthiness set in and an overwhelming gratitude.

I suppose inside I struggle with feeling like we aren't giving up enough (our families are in the same country!, I can speak my heart and people understand, we have AIR CONDITIONING!!!)...or not doing enough to be qualified...but then reality hits me and we were never QUALIFIED to be missionaries. Matter of fact, many laughed in our faces and guessed how many months it would take before we returned from Thailand. 4 years later, here we are...more different that I could have ever imagined we would be with so many lessons under our belt I can't even count them.

Where do I get this idea that giving up things and being officially branded as a missionary makes you a missionary? Why does this pleague me so? What makes us missionaries? Missionaries are people who, with reckless abandon, leave behind any ambition of creating a life of stability for the assignment of our God to live to reach a people group. Dedicated to giving their lives to a God given mission...

I can stand before man and God and say that we are missionaries. Does that make us special? No...I believe that God would have us all to be missionaries...dedicated to our God given mission. As my blog numbers dwindle I realize how much I depended on knowing that people are reading...even though we're not in Thailand in a dangerous place anymore I still covet the fellowship and prayer that comes with it. I am also scared to admit to myself that maybe a bit of my man pleasing issues rises up because I'm not receiving as many hits...in turn causing me to feel less loved.
(I really loved this picture I found...It says: "Validation - pre-purchased ticket" think about that for a bit...)
Now, don't get me wrong...I love blogging...just for blogging. But at times I suppose I got some kind of validation for what we were doing from it...and as sad and sick as that is...it's true. Now, most of my validation came from the Lord but I see now in myself that a bit came from all the support we were receiving. But our validation does not come from man...but from our Lord. I thank God that I can share how I am feeling on my blog and express what's going on in my own heart and I thank God that my husband doesn't share my validation issues!! HAHA! He's always so strong and sure...like a strong oak tree with roots going down deep into Him.

We are excited about what God is doing!! I am soo happy to report that at this time God has moved Trent and Amy Pruett back to Texas. Yes! The SAME Trent and Amy Pruett that we worked with in Thailand are back in Texas!!! And even more amazing is that Trent and John are working together now at the office (www.jglm.org). We would have never imagined in a million years (ok MAYBE in a million years...that's a long time!) that we would be back in Texas together, much less, WORKING TOGETHER.

Curry, John and Trent (and Josiah) left today for a week long trip to Denver, Colorado! While I'm going to miss John and Josiah horribly I am soo excited for them because I know this trip is going to be a blast for them! They are holding a Divine Healing Technician Training in Denver, Colorado and they are all very excited about what God is going to do!

So while they are gone this week I'm so thankful that God is continuously working on me and allowing me to take him at his word and be more than a conquerer. With one less child I am praying that I am freed to do much more ministry this week.

I am going to have a lot of time to focus in on allowing God to refine me in the month of March! John will be gone for the entire month of March to Malaysia and Indonesia with his father, Curry Blake (www.jglm.org)!! He is leaving on his birthday (March 3) and will be arriving the day after his father's birthday(April 2)!!

Please be praying for them...there could be upwards of 80,000 people at some of these meetings!!! Malaysia is one of the closed countries of Asia...so it is an honor an a priviledge to share the gospel there. Please pray with me for these meetings and protection and boldness for our men and for me too...becuase let me just tell you...one week with out my husband is heart wrenching for me...so a month could be really rough but I'm asking God to help me be prepared and strong.

Another prayer request is that you be praying for our future home - wherever that may be. We still do not have many many things that we need to have a home (ex. beds, appliances...) and we will be moving from the missions house at the end of April.

Thank you for reading...

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF