Thursday, July 01, 2010


Today was day number 3 that I have not called my long lost half brother! I know it sounds insane but I've been looking for a moment without the kids so I could just cry my eyes out and talk but I just haven't found it...well, I haven't found it before 10:45pm (which is waaay later in his time zone).

Tonight he wrote me two messages and I just sat there and wept. I can't believe this is really happening. I'll share a few excerpts with you.

"Dad told me of his prostate cancer and I was devastated. The very next sentence out of his mouth was nothing about self-pity, or his tough road ahead. He looked at me and said...." I just want 5 good years so there is a chance Steffie (what he called you, not sure how he spelled it) may remember me. I know you don't remember much before age 10, but the point here is this is an example of his genuine love for you. You were always at the forefront of his thoughts. I get tired chasing my kids and I am healthy. Dad NEVER complained about raising a baby at his advanced age. I think this is why I have such a strong devotion to my kids ... he set the example."

As if that isn't enough to keep me crying all night long there was more....

"Dad was a very active person, generous to a fault, and was chronically late. Do you know how many dates I ticked off my girlfriends because I was so late arriving at the movies, or the skating rink? He could never be on time. I owe him because I am so punctual it is rediculous. I am never late, and my kids always tease me about arriving early to places. My wife and I had a new year's resolution a few years ago to try to actually be late to places we went to like parties and get togethers. Well....we weren't very successful."

And the last one:

"Dad's favorite meal: Steak (sirloin) medium rare, baked potato and boiled shrimp. "

Why did I choose these specific excerpts? Well, the first one is obvious but the last two...not so much.

First: Anyone who knows me knows that I have always dealt with being late to EVERYTHING. I was late so much in high school that they made me do two extra weeks at the end of the school year to make up my time.

Second: my two favorite foods are mexican food (specifically salsa) and steak...medium rare.

It's amazing how these small things mean so much. Andy's heart is so amazing to takes everything I've got within me not to forget my responsibilities and jump on a plane to spend a few days just talking. I wish I could do this so badly but there is just too much going on right now and besides - I'd want John to go with me but then getting someone to keep all three kids for a few day is a huge task.

I am so blessed.