Focused?

We're leaving tomorrow...it seems like this night has been forever in coming!! Tomorrow we will rise early and go through my last "to do's" as fast as possible and then be off to the airport by 12 for our flight that leaves at 2pm to Bangkok. Once in Bangkok we have to wait around until 1am for our next flight that goes from Bangkok to Soel, Korea. From Korea we go straight into DFW.

Tonight John and I were able to leave together on the bike to get somethings from downtown...and as I sat on the back of the bike I was lost in all the memories from the past 4 years here in Thailand. As we drove toward downtown and then through downtown I kept taking it in. Trying my hardest to burn pictures into my memory. I want Thailand to stay fresh in my heart. All that it is and all that believe God will do here.

I kept taking intentional deep breaths...taking in all the smells that once drove me crazy as we walked the streets...and savoring them. I still remember a distinct smell from Haiti when I was only a child...I later found out that it was from Rum factories near by...but the smells in Thailand...wow...as you drive...it's like someone playing a mean trick on you. One moment you smell delicious food...then weird food...then sewage...then more weird food...and then incense...then sewage again...then delicious food.

I looked at the sky line and took in the palm trees and the structure of the buildings...I watched as the Thai people sat together infront of their shops as they do every night...I love the way the steam rises from the noodle shops. I love the way the Thai people are always outside. At one point I just closed my eyes and listened to the sounds...and tried to burn in my memory of John and I on a bike together in Thailand.

Despite all the things that make living in Thailand hard for us...I find myself holding back what feels to be a waterfall of emotion...and tears...Oh the tears that will fall...I am so glad and I really really am excited about going on to America and walking into what God has for us but I will miss Thailand like a dear friend. It's quirks...it's characteristics...it's smell...I've come to love Thailand like I love my family and friends...deeply and unconditionally...quirks and all.

I believe we will come back but I don't know how long it will be...hopefully just a year or two...but God has not shown us that yet. Tomorrow is the day! We've almost got everything in order...we're going to have to pay overage fees but God knows and has provided.

You wanna hear something funny? Today I was packing our suitcases and I was weighing each one and I was just astounded and floored that each bag weighed 60kg!! Thats about 130 something pounds! We are allowed 15kg per person. That makes 60kg for our whole family and ONE SUITCASE weighed 60kg!!! I could not believe it...I was almost in tears...because I have thrown away...and given away sooo much stuff that I would have loved to have kept close. I had worked so hard and been so cut throat only to find that we were still way over and it was going to cost close to $1,000 dollars to pay for this much overage.

After packing and mulling this through for about 2 hours...Christina said..."Steph are you sure you aren't reading the pounds?" Then it dawned on me!!! I was....I so was! It was like a huge burden was lifted instantly!!! I screamed and thanked Jesus! LOL! So instead of having to leave more stuff behind...we'll be back to our expected $250 overage fee. It's a lot but much better than $1,000 don't you think? Especially when you don't have it!

I felt sooooo...uhhh...how do you say....ummmm....STUPID! Actually I prefer to call it stress induced lack of awarness...hehehehe...So be praying for us during this journey. We are excited and very very tired and our journey hasn't started yet! I'm so excited to see my family and friends!! I can't wait to hug my mom, see my wonderful in-laws and squeeze my bestest friends!!

I'll update you as soon as I can after we arrive. Thanks for reading! I want to encourage you to think about Jesus...my heart has been heavy laden for the ones who have been decieved and have put their focus on other things...good things...like taking care of their family...going to church...ministry...or going through their check list...and their focus has shifted from the most important thing in life. Our Savior...and time with Him.

I love Christmas time...remember the Prince of Peace, wonderful counselor, the lamb that was slain...the light of the world...the one that changed your life...refocus brothers and sisters...reFOCUS!



Only Love Remains - JJ Heller
Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart

Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains