Friday, August 10, 2007

Homeschooling frustrations...

Found this pic on the web...good pic to describe how I feel sometimes...

So I was doing my study yesterday and I read this scripture. I've read it many times even quoted it tons of times and I love how it was ok to use "do" so many times. It's almost humorous if he weren't talking about such a serious serious situation.

I have really been dealing with frustration issues when teaching my son. I've come to find out that for the most part this is completely normal for beginning homeschool moms...but it really upsets me that I can't seem to control my frustration. So I've been praying and asking the HOly Spirit to help me and fix this area of my life.

It's not good for my son, I don't like it and it does NOT glorify God. So...when I was doing this study I could really relate. I would feel like I could not stop myself from being frustrated with my wonderful 5 year old son. I'm still trying new things that I'm learning and it is getting better and Josiah is learning how to learn. But you know when you are in the midst of some sin...such as anger or jealousy and the Holy Spirit reveals it to you but it just seems beyond you to stop it?
Well, I do not believe believers should walk ruled by their flesh...but I just felt like I was. So as I read this scripture I was really identifying. Please read Romans 7:7-25

14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[b]

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.
22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

I was right there saying "What a WRETCHED woman I am!" How could I get so frustrated with my son? He's just being like a normal 5 year old. I can't expect him to do everything perfectly or not get distracted...ESPECIALLY since we are just really diving in to real homeschool. Where is my meekness....where is kindness? Where is the love of God in me????

Then the truth comes through..."THANKS BE TO GOD - through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Because of Him I can overcome my flesh and my frustration. I then read 1 John 4:4:
4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over them, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.

After I read that scripture I just felt like I could breath again. I know God will continue to work on me and I am gaining so much knowledge about homeschooling. So today we sat down to do just a little bit of math together and things were 100% better! There are so many wonderful women who have been there and done that I am learning so much from them. Please continue to pray for me as Josiah and I continue on the long road that is homeschooling.

I will not let frustration and anger get the best of me...spoiling our learning time together. No matter what his attention span is...I will walk in his grace and love and I will allow the Holy Spirit to teach me and show me how to homeschool with a meek and loving spirit. I can do this through Him...


mmhaiti said...

I am a homeschooling mum, missionary in Haiti. Today I have a very frustrating, tiring time with my 7 years old daughter and almost 5 years old son. It is not the first time we have a bad day and once again I questioned myself if I am up to the call. Both my husband and I are teaching at the Christian University of North Haiti. But boy it is hard when you teach your own kids. Anyway I went from frustrated to angry and let all those nasty feelings loose. I finally sat in front of the computer and did a search under "Homeschooling frustration" as I silently prayed "Talk to me!" Well our God is faithful and I am thankful that I found your web page and read your words sharing the Scripture. In the end it is not about us, not even about our beloved children but about Him and how we honor him whatever we do. God bless.